On August 1, 2004, the Institute of Joy™ commenced operations with the goal to bring Joy to every human being on and beyond the planet Earth. No news conferences were held, nor interviews or TV commercials. Publicity was deemed by the IOJ to be too dangerous. Joy is infectuous, they said. Too much too soon and in too high a dose can seriously damage both the heart and the spleen. The sudden realization that an organization, the Institute of Joy™, has been created for one purpose—to increase Joy—could prove fatal. (While death in certain circumstances can increase the overall level of Joy in the world, and sometimes increase it dramatically for particular individuals, death is usually a Joy diminsher. Those at the IOJ do not want you to die until your time to die has come.)

The Institute of Joy™ will provide tips and lessons on Joy creation and augmentation. Periodically the institute will hold meetings, parties and seminars focused on the many aspects of Joy and its development.

The IOJ is on the vanguard of Joy research. Its methods may be regarded as odd, insensitive and, on rare occasion, sociopathic. While this press release is the first time that the methods have ever been described in any way to anyone, already, there has been a reaction. Spokesman Julie Anne Lumbard said:

"Already the world is pushing back. We have received four distinct bomb threats and we do not yet have a building or an office or a phone. In fact, there is no way to actually contact us. And it will get worse, we know. Yet, we relish the attacks. The overall level of Joy is up at the IOJ. We have succeeded in inciting a reaction from a vocal part of our society. Already they are becoming our puppets. Bring it on, we say. Make our days."

The institute is resolute, because it is confident in its analysis and its methods. The IOJ, via Ms. Lumbard, asks only that you, a citizen of the universe, open your mind, read, listen, and attempt first to understand, as they at the IOJ have sought to understand all people, before you cast your judgement. "Joy is out there," she said. "It is only the desire to grab it that is in question."

The founder of the IOJ, the enigmatic Jaxon Seliot, once said:

"If oysters were Joy, which they are in the aphrodisiac sense, except that the effects of Joy on the libido are vastly greater than the effects of oysters—but I won't get into that here—the world would be overflowing with oysters. Not, however, because there is so much Joy in the world—though the world is burgeoning with unreaped Joy—but because so few people would open the salty little suckers, pour on the spicy sauce, and suck out the intrinsic pleasure that is contained therein."

For more information about Joy and its benefits, visit the Institute of Joy™ on the web at www.instituteofjoy.org.